is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
