that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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