i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
