just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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