the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
