i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
