I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
