I wish I only lived at night.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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