it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
