this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
