His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
