its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You work out of a Hotel?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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