Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
