You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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