I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Randomize
