he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
