I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
