he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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