what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize