My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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