Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you would pick up someone in the library
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I miss vodka workout Fridays
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
