Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
