sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
