Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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