...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
