Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
