I'm gonna have a badass scar
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
