Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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