I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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