Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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