He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
