This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
