are you still at the devil's house?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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