just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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