I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
