hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Houston, we have a blender
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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