why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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