So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
