How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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