lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
