what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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