its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
