I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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