So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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