Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I need to stop coming to work sober
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
