so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
