that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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