Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize