How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
