Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
