I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
