yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
