I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I need moral support for this bender
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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