he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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