Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
