so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
