afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
