I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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