Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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